Balance and God’s Scales

Proverbs 16:11 NRSV

Proverbs 16:11 is a verse I’ve read many times over the years. A similar verse appears in Proverbs 11: “A false balance is an abomination to the Lord but an accurate weight is his delight.”

Proverbs repeats itself and contains slight variations on many of the adages. I’m convinced the book is better read one maxim at a time rather than in chapters. Because, honestly, I’ve always heard these verses as saying the same thing—that Christians, and the Jewish people to whom these Scriptures belonged first, should be honest in our business transactions. This pleases God.

Balance

But this time . . . Proverbs 16:11 hit in a new way

Balance is my word for this season. There’s a lot going on in my life and each area needs time and focus—personal relationships, personal health and well-being, vocational responsibilities, and continuing education choices. Any one of those areas could fill my time and absorb all my energy.

Anybody else feel that way? That every area of your life needs 100% and you can’t figure out how to give each one what it needs and demands? There’s not enough energy, not enough time in the day.

To focus on ONE of them would be to neglect the others. The challenge in life is to find balance.

So back to Proverbs 16:11.

Weights measure things. When the amount of weight placed on one end balances the scale, we know the measured weight of the items in the other end.

My life doesn’t feel like a simple scale. It feels like a spinning plate exhibition.

This photo is from the Wikipedia entry Plate Spinning.

Maybe you feel that way, too.

But today Proverbs 16:11 stopped me. God stilled all the plates. He took them off the sticks and stacked them neatly and unbroken at the end of the table.

Then he took out his set of scales and bag of weights. With great gentleness and a warm smile, he said to me, “We can do this. We can choose which needs the focus most and how much energy may be given to each at any given moment.”

WE

We. Did you hear that word? It’s a marvelous word! WE can do this. WE can choose.

The amazing, miraculous, wonderful thing about being a follower of Christ is that none of us must go this life alone. We get a WE.

We get the Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And we get a family of other believers stumbling, crawling, staggering, or sprinting through life facing many of the same challenges we face (and others we can’t imagine). We are a WE and we are not alone.

  • The endless, boundless, never-ending, agape love of God.
  • The magnificent, mind-boggling, virtually incomprehensible grace of Jesus Christ.
  • The fellowship, leadership, mentoring, coaching, and collaboration of the Holy Spirit.

No Skewed Scales

God’s scales are honest. He doesn’t have his food on one end, skewing them. He isn’t cheating us—either to make us feel better about how we’re doing or worse.

Some of the areas of our life will demand more than they should. Friends may complain you don’t value them when you go back to school. They may accuse you of thinking you’re better than them. Partners may grouse when you choose healthier habits. Work may grumble when you establish boundaries around effort, work load, and time off.

The world’s scales not always honest. The world will place its foot in the scale—demanding more of us, telling us we’re not giving enough and should be ashamed.

The time an area demands may not be the time the area needs or deserves.

God helps us take an honest look at the need in front of us.

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:1-2‬ ‭NRSV‬‬

The Romans verse above affirms that God doesn’t condemn our efforts. We don’t have to live under constant pressure and stress of not doing enough, of not doing it good enough, of being responsible for everything, especially anything that doesn’t turn out 100% perfectly.

God’s Bag of Weights

Not only does God bring his own scales to this meeting, he brings his own weights.

I imagine these weights are stamped with words like Peace, Worth, Truth, Grace . . .

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14:27‬ ‭NRSV‬‬

“Because you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you . . . ”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:4‬a NRSV‬‬

God doesn’t measure the same way the world measures.

The world demands we produce, even if it means working to exhaustion. God says we are to rest in a regular rhythm called sabbath.

The world says our worth is determined by what we produce or the skills we possess or the power we wield. God says that we are each created in God’s own image. We have been given the breath of life, divine breath animating us. We were created because God wanted to have a relationship with us, and we are redeemed, delivered, bought back, freed from sin and death by Jesus. Our worth is determined by our Maker. We are inherently worthy! Before we do the first thing or produce the first item.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭55:8‬ ‭NRSV‬‬

“So then, from this point on we won’t recognize people by human standards.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:16‬a CEB‬‬

Finding Our Balance

Proverb’s 16:11 reminds me—and you—to use the honest and truthful weights and grace-filled scale of God.

In collaboration with the Holy Spirit, we can give each area what it must have, and be released from guilt and condemnation when we do not give an area what it demands.

And the ongoing nature of our relationship with God will help us adjust and adapt, and manage it all better as we go.

Let’s go find our balance.

Living Our Commitments: Three Tips for Remaining Passionately Peaceful

Have you noticed that goals are easier to set than achieve…that commitments are easier to make than keep?

Many times we make decisions when we are in a state of inactivity. We STOP to plan. We plan our day while we are relaxing the evening before. We establish long term goals at a retreat when we are settled and away from the usual hustle and bustle. Stillness—at least of our heart—is the best way and time to make decisions, but that doesn’t mean we will make perfect decisions.

Other times, we make a unthoughtful decision. That’s not a reference to your cognitive abilities. I just mean that we answer without pausing to think about what it really means. Someone calls and asks us to be part of a project. The unanticipated text presents an opportunity and our things immediately respond affirmatively.

In both circumstances, we fail to accurately assess the energy the new project will require when added to our lives.

Then there are times when the unknowable happens. Flu season descends upon your world with vengeance. A natural disaster (fire or flood) or lifestyle disaster occurs (loss of job or relationship) occurs. We are caught off guard, and because it was unknowable, we are not prepared for the chaos it brings to our lives.

These are the times that test our commitments, especially those made unthoughtfully and even those made in stillness. How we face these times will tell us how we are doing Pursuing Passionate Peace.

My Commitment Testing Season

I’ve been in a season of those myself. I launched my spiritual health and wellness coaching thoughtfully, with a reasonable plan for activity (posting schedule for the blog, engagement in the Facebook group and Instagram, appropriate number of appointments I could keep monthly). I’ve been experiencing both an emotional and a physical challenge.

One of my own Purposeful Planning goals revealed unresolved issues in my life. In order to practice what I teach, I knew that I could not push the issues back down and move on. When an unconscious issues emerges, we need to trust the timing. The Holy Spirit raises an issue for us only when we are able to address it and when we stand at a point in our life where it is a key to our future.

Then it became to address some physical pain, which turns out to be more complicated than expected. The reason I couldn’t diagnose myself—other than not having a medical degree—is because there’s more than one issue. The unexpected part turns out to be, literally, a pain in the neck. The medication seems to be helping part of the issue but bringing some side effects that must be dealt with.

Tests Bring Choices

I had choices to make. I could stuff the emotional issues back down and move forward as though nothing was wrong. Let the nightmares continue. No one sees when you come apart—with panic or tears—in private. I would still look fine. And physically, I could push forward, sacrificing sleep, rushing through tasks. I could forego commitments made to things that maintain my peace and about which I am passionate.

In other words, I could PRETEND to be fine, to be in a state of Passionate Peace. OR I could do the world to REALLY be passionately peaceful.

You can pretend to be fine, to be in a state of Passionate Peace OR you can choose to REALLY be passionately peaceful. Click To Tweet

Awareness dawned that I was slipping into old patterns—of performing, of pleasing, which also means pretending. That’s now who I am, that’s not why I’m here, and that’s not the way I’m choosing to show up in the world and live my purpose.

This is the crucial moment for each of us. How will we choose to show up when choose invades our plans?

Here are three tips from my experiences for remaining passionately peaceful.

Tip 1: Choose authenticity over appearance.

Do you have any idea how much damage you do to yourself when you lie about who you are to the world? No? I didn’t until I quit doing it. It creates loneliness and separation because no one really knows you. Your self esteem is chipped away because we all have a need to be seen and known, and loved for who that person is. It creates anger and bitterness at the people who like or love you because they don’t really know YOU. You begin to resent them for not seeing the real you, even though you are the one preventing them from doing so.

Tip 2: Determine your priorities.

Even when the storms of life are swirling, you can stop and regroup. The eye of the storm brings a temporary calm.

The truth is that a storm may mean you have to alter your priorities. Maybe the new goal you set must be delayed. If your spouse has a heart attack, you may be more needed at the hospital than pursuing your sales goal. When you lose your wallet, the best choices doesn’t seem to be going on the gym because you said you would.
At the same time, you must not let the world determine your course in life. Stop. Push the pause button. Take a few deep breaths and be intentional about the choice.
What matters most in the moment? Where is your focus, attention and energy most needed?

Tip 3: Seek support.

A second opinion can be awesome! Hearing yourself say something out loud helps you process.

If you are a person of faith, ask God. Once you’ve listened to your own heart, listen for the heart of God. This will either confirm or disturb what you heard in yourself.
But it can also be helpful to ask another person. Make it someone you trust, someone who will not interject their own judgment but will gently help you listen to your best self.

When we fail to take these steps, we cling to decisions that need to be changed or postponed and we abandon decisions that should have been kept. These three simple tips can help you faithfully live your commitments—not so you don’t let others down but for yourself! Keep pursuing your passionate peace, even when the unexpected occurs.

Choosing authenticity, determining priorities, and seeking support keep us from abandoning good commitments or clinging to bad ones. Click To Tweet

Share your commitment tests. Leave a comment or drop me an email tammy@tammyhicksjackson.com.


St. Brigid of Kildare

Image of St. Brigid from artbyeileen.wordpress.com

This post contains afiliate links , which means that if you click through and make a purchase I may earn a small commission, without any adidtional cost to you.

Celtic expressions of Christianity draw me because of their connection to nature and level of participation, which contrasts with the spectator quality of American expressions. Celtic Christianity celebrates some saints, heroes and heroines of faith, including St. Brigid of Kildare, whose feast day is February 1 (and sometimes 2).

Born in 453 and living to be 72 years old, St. Brigid was one of Ireland’s patron saints, along with Patrick and Colombo, and a woman before her time. She was well-respected in both ecclesiastical and civic circles. She was an abbess of a double monastery (meaning they had both men and women) at Kildare, and founder of several other communities.

Brigid was especially concerned about the conditions of the poor, of women and of children. There are even miracles stories associated with her.

Miracle of the Cloak

One of my favorite stories is of her asking the King of Leinster for land to open a convent community. He laughed at what he considered a bold requestfor a ridiculous use of land, so she asked if he would grant her the amount of land her cloak would cover. He amusedly granted her request. After praying, four of her nuns took the corners of her cloak and began to run in the directions of the compass points, the cloak growing with each step they took.

When they passed out of sight, the king exclaimed, “Brigid, what are you about?!”

“You have placed yourself opposed to the true God,” she responded. “My cloak shall cover your entire kingdom; you are being punished for your selfishness.”

He begged her to stop and granted her the plot of land she had requested.

Feast Day Traditions

There are two traditions I enjoy associated with St. Brigid’s Feast Day.

One is the making of St. Brigid Crosses. Legend says that St. Brigid was sharing the gospel with a gentlemen and made the cross from the reeds on the floor while she talked. The crosses came to be signs of blessing for a home.

The other is Blessing Cloths. Women leave cloths or scarves outside on the eve of her feast day to be blessed. The cloths carry a blessing of healing, especially for headaches, but also for the health of a relationship and children.

More about St. Brigid

Learn more about St. Brigid at these links.

Saint Brigid of Kildare Monastery in Saint Joseph, MN is associated with the United Methodist Church.

St. Brigid Crosses

St. Brigid of Ireland

Maintaining Our Equilibrium

Five steps to balance pursuing passion and pursuing peace.


Transparency is important in this journey. We must learn to be transparent with ourselves and with one another. Deluding ourselves and pretending with others helps no one. Today is my day to be transparent with you. So here goes.


This week is kicking my butt.

There, I said it.

This is a busy week. I’ve had commitments out of the house every evening. The days have been full of good work and important tasks, but also of things that require focus, attention, and which can exhaust you mentally. Additionally, we are in the middle of our Purposeful Planning Party on the Pursuing Passionate Peace Facebook group. I’ve been providing some members of that group help outside of the party, and I’ve had coaching client appointments as well.


In the wee hours of yesterday morning, before the alarm went off, I awoke feeling anxious and stressed. My Purposeful Planning Party schedule was taunting me like a schoolyard bully. I had planned to move into Chapter 3 of Purpose Planning last Saturday, and I still had not done so.


And that’s when it hit me! TIME TO PRACTICE WHAT I AM TEACHING.


I am passionate about my work–at my day job, with my coaching clients, with those in my groups, and with all of you who interact with me here through the blog. I am passionate about helping all of you set goals you will keep and keep the goals that you set (Purposeful Planning Party). I am passionate about helping you discover who you are, why you are here, and how you can live that out. Pursuing Passionate Peace is about doing those things you are passionate about.


However, Pursuing Passionate Peace is also about not losing your peace. There’s a balance between the pursuit of passion and the pursuit of peace. Pursuing peace means we are actively going after it and intentionally guarding keeping it. This does not describe me this week. I am out of balance.

Pursuing passionate peace is about doing those things about which you are passionate, but also not losing your peace while you do. Click To Tweet

Developing Wisdom in This Area


Part of developing wisdom is cultivating recognition. We learn to listen to both our bodies and our souls. Growth in the pursuit of passionate peace means realizing quickly when we are out of balance, and taking immediate steps to correct the situation.

Steps to Regaining Equilibrium


So here are the five steps I implemented to correct the situation, and that you can use when you find yourself here.


1. Move forward at a reasonable pace. Just because you’ve made a schedule doesn’t mean you must keep it. Schedules and plans serve us; we do not serve them! They are tools, not task masters. It might be helpful to think of your schedule as a draft. When circumstances require, adjust it.

Schedules and plans serve us; we do not serve them! They are tools, not taskmasters. Click To Tweet


2. Remember rest is important. I am going to get enough sleep. Not getting enough sleep will inhibit ability to focus and function. Lowered ability to function further reduces productivity. Sacrificing sleep for accomplishing tasks is not effective. With sleep, I can approach things at my best, with focus and determination.


3. Take time to plan. Each morning, I take five minutes to prioritize my day. The three most important tasks are pushed to the top of the list, but I make sure all the tasks are recorded so they are not forgotten. By doing this, I don’t have to remember all the things which must be done (either now or eventually), but I can commit energy where it is most needed and can be most effective.

Just five minutes to plan the day allows you to commit energy when it is most needed and can be most effective. Click To Tweet


4. Don’t forget to breathe. When I feel anxious, I pause, close my eyes, and breath. Three to five slow deep breaths can work wonders in lowering stress and anxiety in the moment. I usually pair the breathing with a prayer. This week mine I am using: [on the inhale] Come, Holy Spirit, [on the exhale] Lead me in Truth.


5. Debrief when it is over. When the busy-ness is over, I will spend a few moments reflecting on this period of time. Did I over commit? How did I let everything get stacked up like that? What could I have done differently? This is called debriefing, and it is how we learn, and grow, and not make the same mistakes over and over.


Remember:

Your Best is Enough!

No one can expect more from you than your best. If they do, it is THEIR issue and not yours. Stop trying to be THEIR version of you. You will be happier being yours anyway.

People Matter Most!

Too often, we let things become more important than people. Schedules, deadlines, expectations, rules . . . They do not matter more than you, and if you are surrounded by people who think they do, surround yourself with different people! Don’t ever be afraid to change schedules, deadlines, expectations and rules when it is in the best interest of people . . . especially when that person is YOU!

If you are surrounded by people who think schedules, deadlines, expectations and rules matter more than people, surround yourself with different people. Click To Tweet


Go pursue passionate peace today!

#passionatepeace #purposefulplanningparty

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Part 2

This is a continuation of a post on the 12 Days of Christmas. Read the first part here: Twelve Days of Christmas, Part 1.

12 Days of Christmas

Day Five–Five Golden Rings

The five golden rings supposedly refer to the Pentateuch, the first five books of the Bible. Traditionally, these were written by Moses, but almost no one believes Moses actually wrote them down. The stories were oral tadition. The books–Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuternoomy–explain the origins of humankind and humanity’s rlationship with God.

Continue reading “The Twelve Days of Christmas, Part 2”

The Twelve Days of Christmas, Part 1

12 Days of Christmas

When are the Twelve Days

The Twelve Days of Christmas are not twelve days leading up to Christmas. Advent is the time leading up to Christmas Day. The Twelve Days begin with Christmas Day and last until January 6, which is known as Epiphany. Epiphany is the day we celebrate the arrival of the Wise Men. For more on the Wise Men, read the Wise Men post. The days between Christmas Day and Epiphany constitute the Christmas season.  

Continue reading “The Twelve Days of Christmas, Part 1”

Lessons from the Recliner

This morning, I prepared to send my weekly email. In it, I braced myself for telling my subscribers there would be no weekly post this week. As I began to explain why there would be no post, I realized that WAS the post.

You see, this week, I got sick. I don’t like being sick; I don’t have time for it. But sometimes my body ignores my calendar and to-do list. Wednesday morning I reluctantly went to the doctor, and she ordered me to go home . . . to go home, get into bed and REST for three to four days. “THREE TO FOUR DAYS! I have things to do. I can’t lay around for three to four DAYS!” She knows me, so she said, “Ok, but you can either rest for three to four days and feel 100% better, or drag around for two to three weeks. Your choice.”

Continue reading “Lessons from the Recliner”

Christmas Wish List

3 Great Devotionals for your Christmas Wish List
3 Great Devotionals for your Christmas Wish List

It’s that time of year.

No, not Christmas . . .

(well, it is Christmas,

but that’s not what I mean).

It’s WISH LIST time.

Every year, on Thanksgiving, my mother-in-law starts a relentless quest to obtain a list of things that the members of my family. I confess that I am among the least cooperative.  Mindful of my many blessings, I struggle to make a list. There’s nothing I truly need and not even much for which I have a burning, must-be-quenched desire. Faith, family, friends, health–I cannot complain!

Perhaps you are in the same predicament–struggling to find things to put on your wish list–or perhaps you identify with my mother-in-law (bless her for not getting angry with me)–struggling to find things for people on your list.

Here’s one solution: Devotionals!

Continue reading “Christmas Wish List”

What are you talking about?

I have a friend. She’s such wonderful fun, adventurous, loyal and hard working. But conversations can be exhausting. Sometimes I have to just stop her and say, “WHAT are you talking about?” When we quit laughing, she will catch me up.

I get lost because I don’t comprehend a connection. Sometimes it’s my fault; I let my attention wander and miss it. Other times she doesn’t give me enough information to follow her off the conversational exit ramp. One example was the day a conversation about back roads to the beach shifted to lasagna. I didn’t know she had the discovered the “best lasagna of my life” in a chance encounter after taking a wrong turn and getting lost. It’s an important piece of information! Once she shared that, I could say, “Oh, now I get it!” 

Continue reading “What are you talking about?”