Tammy Hicks Jackson • Page 2 of 4 • Integrating the Spiritual, Physical, and Emotional for Health and Wholeness

July 30, 2022July 30, 2022

Stay in Your Lane: Leadership Lessons from King Saul

The Bible is always instructing us. Here's what I saw recently in a story from the Old Testament about King Saul.

I Samuel 13: 5-15 tells a story of King Saul preparing for battle. The people are gathered for battle against the Philistines, the iconic enemy of the Hebrew people in the Bible. The prophet and judge Samuel is supposed to come lead them in worship before battle. They need to hear from God and receive God's blessing on the battle before proceeding, yet Samuel doesn't show up when expected. The people get nervous; Saul gets scared. Finally, Saul just handles it himself. He offers the sacrifice. And, lo and behold, about he time he finishes, Samuel shows up!

(Read it for yourself by clicking the Scripture reference above.)

Slipping Away

My translation (NRSV-UE) says that the people began to "slip away" from Saul. Verse 9 asserts this and then Saul confirms it in verse 11.

What does that mean?

In verse 8, the author uses the Hebrew word pus (Strong's word H6327), which means to disperse or scatter. In verse 11, Saul uses the word napas (Strong's H5310) which means to shatter, break, dash to pieces, as well as scatter or disperse. They are roughly synonyms. The former seems to be more straightforward--the people begin to disperse. Saul's word choice in the latter carries an undercurrent of brokenness. The plans have been dashed. Samuel's absence has broken how it was supposed to go.

I Forced Myself

In verse 12, Saul says that he "forced himself" to do what needed to be done. What did he mean by that?

The Hebrew word is apaq (Strong's H662), which means to abstain, refrain, or hold back. It can also mean to compel oneself.

Restraining and compelling seem opposite to me, so I looked at other places where the word was used in this way.

In Genesis 43:31, David washed his face and came out, controlling himself, after the death of his child.
In Genesis 45:1, Joseph is unable to control himself and had to get everyone out before he burst into tears.
Esther 5:10 says Haman restrained himself.
In Isaiah 42:14, the prophet says that he has held his peace until now. He has restrained himself, but will not cry out like a woman in labor.
In Isaiah 63:15, the prophet feels God is withholding God's heart and compassion from the prophet.
In Isaiah 64:12, the prophet asked God if God will continue to abstain from acting in light of the evidence he presents.

From what is Saul restraining himself?

Who or what is compels Saul to do this thing?

Lanes for Everyone

In ancient Israel, prophets and kings had different functions. Kings led civilly; prophets led spiritually. (And priests took care of the Tabernacle or Temple. They don't factor into this story so I won't muddy the water.)

It was not Saul's place to offer the sacrifice. It was not Samuel's place to lead the troops into battle. Each has a role and function. All is well as long as everyone stays in their lane.

But Saul did not say in his lane.

Saul Means Well

Let's be clear. I think Saul thought he was doing the right thing.

Samuel's delay, whatever the reason, precipitates a crisis. The people are beginning to scatter or slip away. At this point in history, Israel had little ability to compel people into military service. Saul is the first king, and under the judges, clans and tribes made choices about supporting a particular military action. Gathered to fight by a compleling vision under a charismatic leader, that pep rally style motivation is waning. The desire to be free of the danger slowly succumbs to the possibility that fighting might be the dangerous action. Their commitment to fight is slipping away and the people begin to do likewise.

Saul feels panicky. Saul has been full of fear his entire life. He hid from his own ordination as a king. They had to pull him from among the supplies to even anoint him king. If you read the story of his life, every move he makes comes from a place of fear. When Saul sees the people beginning to slip away, the fear he's struggled to keep tamped down rises to the surface. He is desperate to succeed. He needs to accomplish what he promised--a rousing defeat of the Philistines. He will do anything to avoid embarrassment of losing and appearing weak.

Make no mistake: Saul is weak. He knows this. He just don't want everyone else to realize this.

Restraining Fear

Saul thinks he is restraining his fear. He thinks he overcame his fear of acting without Samuel or anyone else and did the brave thing. In Saul's estimation, he has acted as a decisive leader. He took charge of the situation.

In Samuel's estimation, he overstepped his responsibilities, disrespected Samuel, and disobeyed God.

Sadly, Saul's motives are not clear to him. He remains oblivious to the root cause of his mistake which ensures that he will not learn and grow from the mistake.

What Could Have Happened?

What would have happened if he has not offered the sacrifice?

Catastrophe looms as one possibility.

The people all leave. There are no people left to fight. The Philistines observe the situation and pounce on the possibility. Israel is defeated, and subjugated to Philistia for the foreseeable future.

What are the chances that God would have let his occur?

Based on the rest of the Bible, it's not likely. The people of God more often experience catastrophe from DISOBEYING God rather than OBEYING. Scripture teaches us that God's timing is not our timing. Sometimes we think God is moving too slowly or even become convinced that God will not act on our behalf. But then God always does.

Responsibility would have remained where it already existed.

Samuel was responsible for the sacrifice. If Samuel failed to come, this would have been Samuel's fault, not Saul's. Samuel and Saul have a complicated relationship, and other times I have sat with this passage, I've wondered if Samuel intentionally moved slowly, stoking Saul's fear fire and giving him the room to fail.

A Lesson to Learn

I believe that if Saul had stayed in his lane, God would have done something amazing. Those who remained would have been part of something historic. They would have told their grandchildren the story as they sat on their knee. In their old age, they would have gathered at the local breakfast joint to tell the story again and again. Glory days!

So what is the lesson that we can learn?
What glorious days of God do we miss because we will not wait for them to unfold?
How often do we get out of our lane and act when we should not?
Would we be aware of our latent fear driving our choices?
Are we aware that when we get out of our lane, we make ourselves the blame instead of those actually responsible?

Everyone around us may say, "We have to do something! Anything is better than nothing." The problem is that this is not true. There are things worse than doing nothing and they include doing the wrong thing, especially the wrong thing that could have been avoided if we had listened to God.

July 4, 2022July 4, 2022

Who is John?

The fourth gospel is titled The Gospel of John. Traditionally, this has been John, one of the twelve disciples of Jesus.

But is this who authored the gospel?

There are three possibilities among biblical scholars.

Here is a video presenting and considering the three possibilities , and sharing my personal opinion.

https://youtu.be/r-lOIjv2I6Q

This is part 2 of 4 introducing an in-depth look at The Gospel of John.

June 29, 2022June 29, 2022

Good, Not Perfect

Every morning, as I drink coffee and wake up, I read Scripture and pray. Many mornings, I read a devotional as well.

This morning, I picked up Forty Days on Being a Three, by Sean Palmer, part of the Enneagram Daily Reflections series. Opening to Day 37, I found a meditation titled, “an Invitation to Rest.”

I almost just put it down again. Yet again, this devotional is meddling in my business and getting on my toes. But the I-will-not-quit in me kept me reading, and I’m glad I did.

Near the end, I encountered the phrase highlighted above: God pronounces creation as “good,” not perfect.

Good. Not Perfect.

I admit that when I think of Creation, I think of it as perfect before human beings messed it up. (Remember the forbidden fruit we couldn’t keeps our hands off that got us evicted?)

Being the Enneagram 3 that I am, I hot-footed it over to an interlinear to check the Hebrew. Sure enough, the word in Genesis 1 is not ‘perfect.’

The Hebrew word is tob. (Strong’s H2896 for those of you who are geeks like me.) This versatile word can be an adjective, a noun, or an adverb, meaning good in the widest sense, beautiful, better, best, pleasant, or fine—and more.

The closest description to perfect in the list is best. Best does not mean perfect. Even the best of something may not be perfect.

So what?

So what difference does any of this make? Too often I think of perfect as the standard. Not just the goal—the standard. Anything less than perfect is not good enough. And the more you work hard to be perfect, to make something perfect, the more it stings when it’s not. And it’s usually NOT, because the world isn’t perfect.

God is, however, perfect. So I have to believe that pronouncing the world ‘good’ and not ‘perfect’ was a choice.

Why would God choose to create something good instead of perfect?

Perhaps God wanted to show us that we can make such a choice. We can choose to create good in our lives and in our world. The quest for perfection often paralyzes us. We create nothing for fear of not creating perfection.

What good have I failed to bring into this world and into my life because perfectionism prevented me?

Today, in a simple sentence, in a devotional that stomps my toes far more than I would like, I am reminded: Perfect wasn’t the goal when God created. Why should it be mine when I create something?

June 28, 2022June 28, 2022

Nehemiah’s Vision

Vision is Essential

Yes, vision is absolutely essential!

Your vision is a clear image of your preferred future. If you don’t know where you are going, how will you get there?

Do Something

Nehemiah was one of three people who were part of the return from exile for the Jewish people. The other two we Ezra and Zerubbabel. The story is captured in th two books of Ezra and Nehemiah in the Bible.

Nehemiah had never been to the country of his people. He was born in exile, but his community did a great job of sharing the Jewish people’s vision of The Promised Land.

When news arrives of the condition of Jerusalem, Nehemiah’s hear breaks. His mind returns—or walks back—to the original purpose for the city and his people.

He must do something!

You’re invited to hear more about how Nehemiah revisits his people’s vision as you consider your own vision in this sermon from May 1, 2022.

“The words of Nehemiah son of Hacaliah. In the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, while I was in Susa the capital, one of my brothers, Hanani, came with certain men from Judah; and I asked them about the Jews that survived, those who had escaped the captivity, and about Jerusalem. They replied, “The survivors there in the province who escaped captivity are in great trouble and shame; the wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been destroyed by fire.” When I heard these words I sat down and wept, and mourned for days, fasting and praying before the God of heaven.”

‭‭Nehemiah‬ ‭1:1-4‬ ‭NRSV‬‬

June 22, 2022June 22, 2022

The Gospel of John is Unique

Taking Deep Dives

Periodically, I like to take a deep dive into a book of the Bible. I dig out the background information--like when the book was written, who wrote it, and why. I compare translations and do word studies.

This year, the Gospel of John is my deep dive book. And you are invited to come along with me.

Nice to Meet You, John

Every friendship begins with an introduction. Perhaps someone introduces you or maybe you take the initiative yourself. Exchanging names and sharing general information precedes an in-depth conversation.

Let me introduce you to the Gospel of John. Four introductory videos will prepare you for deeper conversations once we jump into the chapters and verses.

For now, let's get acquainted. Here is the first of four introductory videos.

https://youtu.be/Qtzd27dU9bo

There are four gospels in the New Testament: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. John is the fourth, and last, one.

Matthew, Mark, and Luke are very similar to one another. In fact, they're called the synoptic gospels. The word synoptic means that they come from the same perspective. John, however, is unique. It is very different from the first three.

Question to consider: Why would one of the gospels be so very different from the others? What might explain that difference?

_________________________

POUR (Passage, Observation, Understanding, Response) is the Bible study method I developed over more than 30 years of studying the Bible. I created a handout that can help you use it, too.

Download the POUR Bible Study Method handout

May 30, 2022May 30, 2022

On Thoughts and Prayers

Let's talk about Thoughts and Prayers for a minute.

Many of you are frustrated with the response to repeated tragedies in our world being "sending thoughts and prayers." I understand the frustration behind the reaction.

I get it.

The problem, however, with "thoughts and prayers" is not the thoughts and prayers. The problem is a lack of understanding of their purpose. Many offering those sentiments think the thoughts and prayers are their actions in response, but this reveals a profound misunderstanding of the purpose of either thinking or praying.

And my concern is for those of you frustrated with the sentiment-flingers who are people of faith. Some of the angry responses border on asserting that prayer makes no difference and is ineffective. Prayer is a central Christian spiritual discipline. I don't want you to lose this incredibly important spiritual practice because of their ignorance and your frustration.

Since the problem is misunderstanding the nature of prayer and the purpose of thoughts, let's unpack them. This won't take long. Stay with me.

Prayer is not like putting in a spiritual work order ticket and then waiting for the Great Repairman in the Sky to come fix the problem of which you've made God aware. Nope! Prayer is not like that. Your irritation with these sentiments means that internally you already know this.

Prayer is a conversation--a TWO-WAY conversation. There are several kinds of prayer conversations.

- Sometimes prayer is a friendly chat. Delightful chatter fills the time. You've enjoyed catching up. Good time, all around.
- Other times prayer is like having that dear friend who just sits with you in your moment of distress. Our words come in the form of tears or sighs, and our friend doesn't lecture or judge. Our friend knows we aren't ready to talk about it yet and their comforting presence is all that is needed right then.
- Then there are times when prayer is more like a conversation with that wise, mentor who always helps you be better. You share the situation and the mentor offers advice or asks for clarification. The mentor makes statements that help you more accurately understand the situation and gain clarity around your role in it. Possible actions are considered and then, with more wisdom inside you, you choose the way forward.

When there is a crisis in our lives or world, quiet companionship may be required for a season, but eventually, wisdom and action are required. If you have a wonderful meeting with a mentor, but never act on any of the insights you gained, your meeting was a waste of time. Prayer helps you find the way forward, but you must act on the way forward that you discerned.

One of the metaphors for Christians is the Body of Christ. As the Body of Christ, we are to continue the work Jesus was doing when he was on earth. Jesus taught (by example and word) and healed (bodies and ways of thinking). Jesus taught about many subjects and delivered his messages in several ways. He used stories, proverbial statements, the catechetical method, and even debate. He healed in a variety of ways, too--with a word, a touch, or an action. Prayer helps us recognize what needs to be healed and the method that should be used. Prayer helps us discover what we should teach--with our words and with our actions.

Thoughts are similar. The purpose of thinking is to decide. Thinking without ever deciding, or doing what you decided, makes the time spent thinking useless.

When someone says, "thoughts and prayers," they are indicating that they intend to engage in their process of meeting with their Mentor (God) and figuring out how to respond. The MEETING isn't the solution. The meeting isn't the solution. Rather it is how the solution will be found.

Don't disregard the importance of prayer and thoughtfulness in responding. Instead, call out those who are claiming to have a meeting with God, but never do, and those who never act on any possible solution.

I'm suggesting that instead of saying things like: * Prayer doesn't work; do something that does! * Stop praying and get to work. * Prayers are useless.

Let's say things like: * I want to know what you hear God saying when you prayed about it. * What course of action did God lead you to take? What example of this did prayer help you find in the life of Jesus? Now that you've gotten with the One who can best help you make a plan, share that plan with us. * That's great! Tell me what God said to you and I'll tell you what God said to me.

I think most of you know that prayer can be powerful. I just don't want use to imply to others (and ourselves) that it isn't by the way we respond.

Prayer + Action = Body of Christ → Transformation and Healing

September 23, 2020September 22, 2020

The Cost of Paul’s Decision to Follow Christ

My church is in a sermon series called Canceled and we are examining the lessons that might be learned from things that get canceled in our lives. We have all experienced so much being canceled as a result of the pandemic–weddings, graduations, funerals, vacations, sports, family gatherings.

This Sunday, I talked about Paul. The Scripture passage was Acts 9:1-8, but you would want to read through at least verse 31 to get a good feel for his story. If you would like to listen to my sermon, you can find it on the Anniston First UMC YouTube page. It begins around 20:43 into the service.

Paul, or Saul as he was known before, was a prominent and respected Jewish man. We know that he was born in Tarsus to Roman citizen parents (Acts 22:27-28). He was educated by Gamaliel (Acts 22:3), one of the greatest and most revered Pharisaical teachers of Judaism in all of the faith’s history. Paul gives us more of his pedigree in Philippians 3:4-6: “ If anyone else has reason to be confident in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, a member of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew born of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless.” Here’s what I think this statement indicates. Paul’s family might not have resided in and around Jerusalem, but they were faithful and observant Jews, circumcising him and bringing him into the covenant as instructed by God. He was from the tribe of Benjamin. Not everyone, in that post-exilic time, could trace their ancestry back to the specific tribe. Israel’s first king, Saul, was from the tribe of Benjamin, and his may very well have been named after King Saul. Paul was a Pharisee, the most important of three factions which arose under Hasmonean rule (between our Old Testament and New Testament–you can look them up; they’re not our focus). We often speak disparagingly of the Pharisees, but we cannot dismiss their fervor. They were passionate about keeping the law of God and applying it well. When he calls himself a “Hebrew of Hebrews,” he might mean that his family line has never intermarried with foreigners who were not God-followers or he might mean that he spoke Hebrew, which every Jews was not able to do at this time in history. Greek was the common language. He was passionate about following God faithfully and encouraging others to do so, even to the point of persecuting the newly forming sect being called The Way, claiming to follow Jesus of Nazareth, who claimed to be the Messiah.

Paul was sincere in his desire to follow God, and sincerely believe he was doing as God asked of him. Yet, Paul was sincerely wrong. Jesus grabs his attention dramatically while on his way from Jerusalem to Damascus. The experience radically transforms Paul’s life, and it cost him everything. Before the ninth chapter of Acts ends, his former friends and spiritual companions are trying to kill him. He loses his faith, his friends, his reputation. To add insult to injury, the fellow followers of Jesus (of which he now considers himself one) do not want anything to do with him. They don’t trust him–and with good reason! They are suspicious that his change is not real.

So here are the questions I would urge you to consider:

Where might you be sincere in the position you hold as a Christian, but be sincerely wrong? Are you prepared to abandon ANY position that you discover does not align with Jesus? Are you open to hearing the voice of God say such a thing to you?
Paul’s experience with Jesus totally transforms who he is. How has your experience of Jesus transformed you?
Are we individually and as groups Christians open to the transformation of others?

I will post some of my own answers to these questions in future posts, but we will be discussing them together in the Poring Over Scripture with Tammy Jackson group on Facebook. Join us there for discussion.

September 21, 2020September 21, 2020

Welcome Back!

Good morning, friends! It’s been a while since I’ve posted here and I’ve missed you.

As many of you know, I returned to full time parish-based ministry this year. Yes, I made that transition in the middle of a pandemic. God opens doors at the most unusual times.

I’m going to start posting again. The goal is to make a substantial post once a week (on Wednesday, perhaps) and share other thoughts as time allows. I hope you’re still up to take the journey and pore over Scripture with me.

Whose in?

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019

Living Our Commitments: Three Tips for Remaining Passionately Peaceful

Have you noticed that goals are easier to set than achieve…that commitments are easier to make than keep?

Many times we make decisions when we are in a state of inactivity. We STOP to plan. We plan our day while we are relaxing the evening before. We establish long term goals at a retreat when we are settled and away from the usual hustle and bustle. Stillness—at least of our heart—is the best way and time to make decisions, but that doesn’t mean we will make perfect decisions.

Other times, we make a unthoughtful decision. That’s not a reference to your cognitive abilities. I just mean that we answer without pausing to think about what it really means. Someone calls and asks us to be part of a project. The unanticipated text presents an opportunity and our things immediately respond affirmatively.

In both circumstances, we fail to accurately assess the energy the new project will require when added to our lives.

Then there are times when the unknowable happens. Flu season descends upon your world with vengeance. A natural disaster (fire or flood) or lifestyle disaster occurs (loss of job or relationship) occurs. We are caught off guard, and because it was unknowable, we are not prepared for the chaos it brings to our lives.

These are the times that test our commitments, especially those made unthoughtfully and even those made in stillness. How we face these times will tell us how we are doing Pursuing Passionate Peace.

My Commitment Testing Season

I’ve been in a season of those myself. I launched my spiritual health and wellness coaching thoughtfully, with a reasonable plan for activity (posting schedule for the blog, engagement in the Facebook group and Instagram, appropriate number of appointments I could keep monthly). I’ve been experiencing both an emotional and a physical challenge.

One of my own Purposeful Planning goals revealed unresolved issues in my life. In order to practice what I teach, I knew that I could not push the issues back down and move on. When an unconscious issues emerges, we need to trust the timing. The Holy Spirit raises an issue for us only when we are able to address it and when we stand at a point in our life where it is a key to our future.

Then it became to address some physical pain, which turns out to be more complicated than expected. The reason I couldn’t diagnose myself—other than not having a medical degree—is because there’s more than one issue. The unexpected part turns out to be, literally, a pain in the neck. The medication seems to be helping part of the issue but bringing some side effects that must be dealt with.

Tests Bring Choices

I had choices to make. I could stuff the emotional issues back down and move forward as though nothing was wrong. Let the nightmares continue. No one sees when you come apart—with panic or tears—in private. I would still look fine. And physically, I could push forward, sacrificing sleep, rushing through tasks. I could forego commitments made to things that maintain my peace and about which I am passionate.

In other words, I could PRETEND to be fine, to be in a state of Passionate Peace. OR I could do the world to REALLY be passionately peaceful.

You can pretend to be fine, to be in a state of Passionate Peace OR you can choose to REALLY be passionately peaceful. Share on X

Awareness dawned that I was slipping into old patterns—of performing, of pleasing, which also means pretending. That’s now who I am, that’s not why I’m here, and that’s not the way I’m choosing to show up in the world and live my purpose.

This is the crucial moment for each of us. How will we choose to show up when choose invades our plans?

Here are three tips from my experiences for remaining passionately peaceful.

Tip 1: Choose authenticity over appearance.

Do you have any idea how much damage you do to yourself when you lie about who you are to the world? No? I didn’t until I quit doing it. It creates loneliness and separation because no one really knows you. Your self esteem is chipped away because we all have a need to be seen and known, and loved for who that person is. It creates anger and bitterness at the people who like or love you because they don’t really know YOU. You begin to resent them for not seeing the real you, even though you are the one preventing them from doing so.

Tip 2: Determine your priorities.

Even when the storms of life are swirling, you can stop and regroup. The eye of the storm brings a temporary calm.

The truth is that a storm may mean you have to alter your priorities. Maybe the new goal you set must be delayed. If your spouse has a heart attack, you may be more needed at the hospital than pursuing your sales goal. When you lose your wallet, the best choices doesn’t seem to be going on the gym because you said you would.
At the same time, you must not let the world determine your course in life. Stop. Push the pause button. Take a few deep breaths and be intentional about the choice.
What matters most in the moment? Where is your focus, attention and energy most needed?

Tip 3: Seek support.

A second opinion can be awesome! Hearing yourself say something out loud helps you process.

If you are a person of faith, ask God. Once you’ve listened to your own heart, listen for the heart of God. This will either confirm or disturb what you heard in yourself.
But it can also be helpful to ask another person. Make it someone you trust, someone who will not interject their own judgment but will gently help you listen to your best self.

When we fail to take these steps, we cling to decisions that need to be changed or postponed and we abandon decisions that should have been kept. These three simple tips can help you faithfully live your commitments—not so you don’t let others down but for yourself! Keep pursuing your passionate peace, even when the unexpected occurs.

Choosing authenticity, determining priorities, and seeking support keep us from abandoning good commitments or clinging to bad ones. Share on X

Share your commitment tests. Leave a comment or drop me an email tammy@tammyhicksjackson.com.

January 30, 2019February 10, 2019

St. Brigid of Kildare

Image of St. Brigid from artbyeileen.wordpress.com

This post contains afiliate links , which means that if you click through and make a purchase I may earn a small commission, without any adidtional cost to you.

Celtic expressions of Christianity draw me because of their connection to nature and level of participation, which contrasts with the spectator quality of American expressions. Celtic Christianity celebrates some saints, heroes and heroines of faith, including St. Brigid of Kildare, whose feast day is February 1 (and sometimes 2).

Born in 453 and living to be 72 years old, St. Brigid was one of Ireland’s patron saints, along with Patrick and Colombo, and a woman before her time. She was well-respected in both ecclesiastical and civic circles. She was an abbess of a double monastery (meaning they had both men and women) at Kildare, and founder of several other communities.

Brigid was especially concerned about the conditions of the poor, of women and of children. There are even miracles stories associated with her.

Miracle of the Cloak

One of my favorite stories is of her asking the King of Leinster for land to open a convent community. He laughed at what he considered a bold requestfor a ridiculous use of land, so she asked if he would grant her the amount of land her cloak would cover. He amusedly granted her request. After praying, four of her nuns took the corners of her cloak and began to run in the directions of the compass points, the cloak growing with each step they took.

When they passed out of sight, the king exclaimed, “Brigid, what are you about?!”

“You have placed yourself opposed to the true God,” she responded. “My cloak shall cover your entire kingdom; you are being punished for your selfishness.”

He begged her to stop and granted her the plot of land she had requested.

Feast Day Traditions

There are two traditions I enjoy associated with St. Brigid’s Feast Day.

One is the making of St. Brigid Crosses. Legend says that St. Brigid was sharing the gospel with a gentlemen and made the cross from the reeds on the floor while she talked. The crosses came to be signs of blessing for a home.

The other is Blessing Cloths. Women leave cloths or scarves outside on the eve of her feast day to be blessed. The cloths carry a blessing of healing, especially for headaches, but also for the health of a relationship and children.